Have you ever seen a butcher
tenderize meat?
Does it ever feel like this
is what God has been doing to your heart? In a
much gentler way of course, and without the metal spikes piecing your heart or
the bloodied apron!
OK, not the most loving
picture I know, but I can’t seem to get this imagery out of my head as I have
been thinking about Christmas and God’s divine hand as He has tenderized and
readied for my heart for Jesus.
The first time I truly met
and understood Jesus went something like this…
I was a sophomore at Iowa
State University (Go State!), a marketing major, and member of Alpha Gamma
Delta sorority and living the college dream.
I had just finished up my freshmen year, in epic proportion, drinking my
way through the year one (sorry Mom, this is painfully true) and really didn’t
have a care in the world. Life was good
in my mind.
Yet as I came into my second
year, I know subconsciously I was searching for more, and found myself joining
the Bible study in sorority. It was here
that I met Carolyn, our Bible study leader.
She was a sweet lady in her 50’s, always with a smile on her face and the
kind of lady you want to give a hug to every time you see her.
For the rest of the year I
attended this Bible study, even meeting occasionally with Carolyn, probing her
with the questions I had. She was always
so gracious and patient with me, and at the end of the year encouraged me to
attend a Greek
Christian conference in Indianapolis.
I
went with no expectations but left forever changed. Within minutes of the first worship set, as I
was singing the song, Here I am to Worship,
the tears began to flow and didn’t seem to stop. Eventually the worship songs ended and we
were directed to our small group, which included 5 other of my sorority
sisters. At this point the tears were
still flowing and I didn’t even care how ridiculous I looked because I knew
what God was doing in me was deeper and more real than anything I have ever
experienced.
I knew after that moment I
would never be the same and nothing would ever look the same.
God
was showing ME who Jesus was to ME. I
had heard it a hundred times before, Jesus came and died for you, a brutal
death on a cross so that I might have life, eternal life and live this life
abundantly.
Yet, this time it was different. I felt conviction of my sin, the drinking, the stuff with boys, the lies, the way I judged people, and putting everything above Him, all of it big and small.
He
brought me to my knees, in a puddle of tears, and for the first time it became
personal.
He
became personal.
His
death was for me. He would have died
just for me.
Knowing
what He had done for me in love meant
everything was about to change.
Love
changes everything and when I embraced His love, everything did change.
This
is a moment I will never forget and one I am eternally grateful for.
Although
as I sat reflecting on this moment, the picture of the butcher and meat tenderizer
came quickly to mind.
Almost,
as if God was saying I prepared your heart for that day.
I
prepared you for that day and
everyday before and after that day,
to be soft to my Son.
To
be tenderized for Jesus.
I
remembered those years growing up of going to Church and hearing truth, times
with Mom jamming out to Amy Grant while baking, years of going to Church camp,
praying before meals and bedtime, the letter my brother wrote to me during my
High School graduation telling me to pursue God, and on and on and on.
He’s
been tenderizing my heart from day one when He made me love.
The closer I look, the closer
I see Him all over my life.
This Christmas I am so
thankful for that significant moment in college when I met Jesus, but even more
grateful for my Father in Heaven who is the Great
Butcher of my heart.
Always preparing my heart for
more of Him, His Son, and the Holy Spirit.
So...
Have you ever seen a butcher tenderize meat?
Does it ever feel like this is what God has been doing to your heart?